How to Chose your Perfect mate,Spouse or Life partner

Choosing a mate may be one of the most important decisions you make in your life. Yet, on what basis will you do it? Will you leave it to destiny? Will you leave it to chance? Will you settle for less than you want because you believe that what you want is not readily available?

Making an active choice

Choosing a mate is so vitally important to your level of happiness and success and yet people often pay it less attention than choosing a home or a car. People prefer to attribute it to some mystical force of the universe, some divine power, and hope for the best. Given the high rate of divorce in the Western world, it seems clear that this method of choosing your life partner just is not working.

Is it destiny? Is it all beyond your control? I submit that while destiny certainly has a role to play you have an even greater role to play in the choice.

Over the course of your life, you will date, and even fall in love with, many people. However, who you choose to spend the rest of your life with should have as much to do with making an intelligent informed decision as with falling in love. The most critical information you need to know is what you want in a mate.

Consider for instance how you go about buying a refrigerator. You first determine your requirements. How large should the fridge be to accommodate your groceries? What about the door? Would you prefer a single door or a double door? If the latter, should they be side-by-side or top and bottom? Should the freezer be on top or below? Do you need ice in the door? Should the vegetables have separate temperature controls? How many shelves do you need? Glass or plastic shelving? You spend a reasonable amount of time determining your needs and specifications when it comes to a refrigerator – an item that you will dispose of in a few years. Does not your choice of a life partner deserve at least the same effort and thought?

Determine your needs

The first step you need to take in choosing the perfect mate is to determine your requirements in a mate. I suggest you consider all the possible attributes that are important to you. The major ones as well as the seemingly unimportant ones. There are several different kinds of attributes and this can seem like an overwhelming task at first. If you break it down into distinct areas identifying the characteristics of your ideal mate will become a more manageable project. Some categories to consider include Physical attributes, Career, Health, Finance, Family, Religion, Background, and most importantly, Personal Character and Values.

Use these characteristics to define your ideal mate. Is he tall, athletically built, sensitive, affectionate, stockbroker, Democrat, Catholic, from an old Irish family? Is she full-bodied, gentle, artist, empathetic, atheist? When choosing a mate, it is often difficult to identify your requirements down to this level. You may need to identify which of the general categories are of importance to you at all. For example, you may have no view on Religion, either good or bad. You may feel equally comfortable with someone who has an active religious life as with one who has none. However Finance may be of supreme importance to you and you could not consider someone who did not view it as seriously.